Sunday, April 13, 2008

GO ME!

I’ve been thinking today about fear. Probably because I’m worried out of my mind about the expected job offer for Z-Man. But, nevertheless, I’m thinking about it. And I’ve decided that it’s been far too long since I started letting fear rule my life.

I’m afraid of failing at losing weight—so I just eat what I want and have gained way too much lately.

I’m afraid of not having enough money for what we need—so I spend way too much in a knee-jerk reaction.

I’m afraid of not writing the funniest, or most insightful, or most entertaining blogs—so I let all my thoughts and ideas pile up, wither, and disappear in my brain.

UGH!! I detest living this way. I hate feeling like I have to escape into poorly written fiction (the only kind I seem to be finding on-line lately) in order to avoid thinking about how I’m letting fear keep me from living my life. And while it will certainly take me a while (with many set-backs), I’m going to change the way I live my life. And actually enjoy the time I have—mistakes and all.

Here’s to imperfect, sloppy, sometimes painful REAL LIFE!
And as step one on this journey—I’m officially posting this entry without editing it—and without letting myself second-guess whether I want anyone else to see this about me or not. GO ME!

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