Bad Day

I had a very bad day yesterday. I keep telling myself that they'll start to be less often, but it hasn't happened yet. I was looking over the past couple months on the calendar for something totally innocent when I realized that, had I still been pregnant, I would have had my ultrasound last week or the week before. I would be getting big (read huge, cause it's what I do); I would know the gender of my baby; and I would be more than half-way to holding my child. So, I spent a good portion of yesterday feeling sad and empty. I gave myself a headache trying not to cry, and still broke down and sobbed multiple times (once in public for which I'm going to be forever embarrassed). I did however manage to make it through teaching piano without crying and scaring my students. And I had a roast in the crock pot before I crumbled, so the day wasn't a total waste.

Today I feel fragile, tired, and a little puffy around the eyes. And irritated that now I have 2 days worth of work to try to fit into one.

Normally, when I feel this way, I would never post about it. I don't like to talk or be public when this happens. However, many of you that I love have been asking how I'm doing, so now you know. I really am fine; but if I answer your inquiries by saying I'm "here" or "upright", it's probably because that's a success considering I'm in the middle of this type of bad day.